Updated: Apr 4, 2022
I chose to vlog this trip instead of blogging it. However, due to the nature of certain topics I discuss, these vlogs cannot be on mainstream social media platforms.
They’ll be yanked right off of YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, so I started a new Telegram channel. All of my vlogs (videos) from each day (Day 1 and 2 are already up) will be uploaded there nightly. You can join my channel for free at this link: https://t.me/tesstamonamusic 💜
When I took a poll on @thegreatsilencing instagram account on what you guys wanted me to cover next, I was shocked to see that Nashville won, but you got it!
The newly released Pfizer data will be next- thats the bottom category thats cut off in this pic for some reason- but 33% of y'all asked for that. And you bet your ass I’ll be going off on the spiritual malady of addiction and the fentanyl crisis that has killed half a million young people in the last generation. I’m pretty fired up about that after having lost my former fiancé, best friend, and childhood friend/recovering comrade all in the last few months. I am also a recovering heroin addict with 12 years of sobriety. That might sound like an achievement, but really what it means is I’ve watched a lot of people I love die. The odds are not in our favor, and that is by design.
An album is coming out to honor Dylan (my former fiancé and man I spent half my life with, since the age of 14 believe it or not), along with so many others we have lost.
So to put it simply, there’s a lot going on.
Right now, I’m writing to you from a hotel room in Salt Lake City. I still have a few more days of driving left to do. I am up late because I can’t sleep, too much on my mind, so I figured I might as well make myself useful. This is one of those ways.
A warning to those who get offended easily:
I am extremely raw and open in my vlogs on telegram, especially reasons surrounding why I left Eugene, and the west coast in general. Some of it is deeply personal and surrounding a lifetime of traumas, much of it is me pursuing my goals in music and choosing to live in a music hub, and some of it is absolutely in direct relation to the politics and collective psyche of that region (Pacific Northwest/West Coast).
I do not align with any political party, I think it’s all theatrics personally. However, whatever the hell is going on on the left coast is batshit insane, and I’m not interested in participating in that particular flavor of psychosis. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone wish death on someone else for not being vaccinated... lord I would have had free heat/utilities all winter. If I had a dollar for every time I watched someone get played like a neurotic puppet to the point of the destruction of their own sanity- because they take everything mainstream media says at face value...I would likely be a multi-millionaire. I've seen this get taken so far as to where families are no more, friendships are no more, people even denied social or medical care over it. If you study the rise and fall of the third reich, and you analyze the attitude the Germans developed toward the Jews BEFORE the concentration camps, it's horrifyingly similar. Even the same vocabulary is used in some cases. This "othering", this lord of the flies shit, people do NOT understand how dangerous the pot they are stirring is. They have no idea what they will reap from what they sew. I've tried talking with them, it's beyond useless. You can show them endless sources, videos, credible articles and data, and nothing registers. Just a belligerent repetition of what they've heard from their television...even after the information was admitted to being false by the same people who gave it to them.
I can't wake someone up from a spell that deep.
I realize there is no utopia, there’s madness everywhere, but I’d like to have a bit more freedom and a bit less hysteria over literally nothing on the daily. Simple really.
I want freedom. I want to situate myself strategically where I can live off the land if it ever came down to that (ex: cyberattacks on our power grids, civil unrest that would make what I experienced during the summer of 2020 in LA look like child's play, food shortages, etc.) I want more like-mindedness in my community, and of course, for as long as this 3D world's charade lasts, I want to be near a music hub. I also want to be able to participate in society without having to show proof of an experimental vaccine. I don't care if you take it, I'm not one of those people who yells at people wearing masks and calls them sheep. Y'all can do whatever you want. Your body, your choice. We already know that the vaccine does NOT do anything in regards to transmission prevention, so don't even try to start spinning that tape. That information is common knowledge and admitted by companies like Pfizer themselves. Anyone paying attention knows that, and the people who were observing this shit show from the jump knew it before our dear leaders admitted it. Alright, enough on that, but I'm not living anywhere where an experimental vaccine still in trail phases is required to enter a building, hold a job, go to school, rent a room, and I damn sure don't want to live around people who think it's a great idea to force everyone to take it, and to wish death on those who don't. Alright, enough on that.
This is what I am giving my life to. The pursuit of expression, mixed in with upping my odds at survival should shit hit the fan in this country, and if you ask me, it's likely going to. Give it another 18 months. I hope I'm wrong, but I'd rather be in a location where if I am right, I have a higher chance of survival. There are many reasons why a red state is an area that provides that. It's mostly due to the pockets of people who subscribe toward more libertarian philosophies, which I vibe with for sure, and also, here we go: GUNS. I am not out to hurt anyone, and I do not think it's something to have because it's "cool". No, I have a very healthy respect for guns, the same way I have a healthy respect for the ocean. They will always win, know your place and know what you're doing if interacting with them. Here's my deal with guns: I've had too many situations in my life where I've needed one, didn't have one, and very bad things happened. I survived, but I have seen what people are capable of in my time on this earth. What's more frightening than an evil person, is a scared person. I saw that first hand in the neighborhoods I lived in during the pandemic. Saw people die, have lost so many loved ones, came home to pools of blood in my apartment complex and had to follow the droplet trail to find the body, those are just very minor details. But what caused the things I saw during that time? Fear. Fear makes people take lives, fear makes people take their own lives, fear makes people do unthinkable things. We live in a very hyper-agitated, reactive, outraged hive-mind in this country. Where is it at it's worst? Blue states. Which ones specifically? The ones on the West Coast. Of course this is not speaking on everyone, but if you want to find the areas where those "types" of personalities make up the majority of the population, go there.
As far as these vlogs in my telegram, I get into it all, much more than I have here, and then I riff with you as I drive through the mountains and farmlands...wondering who we really are underneath these false environments we call cities, empowered by these things we call technology that seem to make us dumber by the day, ways to tap into our innate wisdom, musings like that. Today I was very inspired by the way I saw people living in areas I had no idea even existed. Link again is https://t.me/tesstamonamusic if you want to follow along this journey, and have access to exclusive content regarding my spiritual and musical journey after I get to Nashville. I decided to keep telegram a space for exclusive content/more personal stuff, behind the scenes info, you get it.
I would love to blow up YouTube with all the vlogs, and maybe with insane amounts of editing that will be possible in some cases, but we already know their policies. Some things you cannot talk about. I’ve already gotten into censorship wars with them before, and on one video (it's literally a music video with ZERO political content) it still continues--this video is almost a year old at this point! I figure I’ll start directing people either here or telegram— please do subscribe, especially to my email list, incase any of my larger platforms go down.
I’ll end this with a disclaimer:
If you’re extra sensitive toward someone who does NOT subscribe to every single belief in any of these dogmatic echo chambers we like to call politics, it’s not for you. Although I’m sure you’d already have had that figured out by now 😂 I’m not with the tribalism or the hysteria. I’m more interested in what my own soul has to say, not the propaganda my mind has been told to think.
Alright you lovely bastards, I bid you goodnight… although you probably won’t see this until morning. XO